Monday, March 11, 2013

Stop the boats. Seriously.

The sun rose over the eastern expanse of the Indian Ocean at 5.31am on December 15th, 2010 but not much of its light reached the decks of the 15 metre long wooden fishing boat, the Maju Jaya, as it struggled south through 4 metre seas. It was monsoon season, and thick, low cloud hung above the water’s surface restricting visibility to just a few hundred metres.

Friday, February 22, 2013

Seinfeld's guide to political polls

Lately, the cadet journalists in the Olde Worlde media have been hammering away at their keyboards, working themselves into a lather over the recent round of political polls. Conclusions have been formed, winners declared, and leadership spills predicted. Like an Essendon fan telling us this year is their flag year after a strong showing in the NAB Cup, it’s worth remembering just how long the footy season has to run. In fact, the football hasn’t even started yet, and the election won’t be held until AFL semi-finals weekend.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

No news is... quite typical, actually.

Spend an afternoon nosing around the Twitter streams and blogs of #AusPol fetishists and online news outlets and you'll soon encounter the intellectual midgets from Fairfax et al trivialising the sensational ("the longest election campaign in history") and sensationalising the trivial (JG's "hipster eye-wear").

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Offsetting the Cowgill Effect

Matt Cowgill is some bloke I hadn’t heard of until yesterday. He knows about economic policy and shit like that and he just wrote an excellent blog post about the futility of trying to solve a particularly sticky welfare payment problem. Let’s call it the Cowgill Effect.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

"It's all happening (on the radio), Tony!"

With all due respect to the collective wisdom and endless hilarious banter of the Channel 9 commentary team, some of us would prefer to listen to the cricket on the radio while watching it with the sound down on the telly.

Saturday, November 24, 2012

FIRST LOOK: Google and Motorola launch "game changing" new phone.

Google and Motorola have finally released their long awaited first handset.

"This new device changes everything." Says Google product manager.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Greg Barns shows us the value of keeping his mouth shut, by not.

It’s time for the narrow minded, reductionist, backseat drivers who hurl their malignant, obsolete invective at the Labor party’s asylum seeker policies to make a choice: Pony up an effective alternative or STFU.

Yes, Greg Barns, I’m talking to you.

Monday, October 29, 2012

Gaming God: A sinner's' guide to salvation, baby!

Early one morning Agnes Schickin, a thirty year old serving woman from the town of Schorndorf in Germany walked into a neighbouring town and stopped to enjoy a glass of milk offered by a local peasant woman before continuing on her walk. She would later testify that playing by the roadside ahead of her she spotted four “beautiful little boys ”. She approached them and asked for directions back to Schorndorf. Seven year old Hans Furch said he could help and he accepted a gift from her in return for walking part of the way and helping with directions. The two of them headed into the forest alone.

Friday, October 26, 2012

McArts Degrees and other paths to unemployability

So I’m listening to the radio the other day and “education campaigner” and undergraduate Arts student at the University of Tasmania, Georgia Allen, has popped in to the studio to tell us how “sad” she is about the University’s decision to trim elective subjects being offered for Arts students.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Dear Internet...

You are a byzantine enigma.

More than 250 denizens of the Internet came to visit The Underwhelming Blog yesterday; thanks for stopping by. *waves*

Of 250 visitors, zero felt compelled to leave a comment. If engagement on a blog is a measure of reader interest then, dear reader, your interest level is somewhere between zip and diddly-squat.

If visitor numbers are a measure of interest in a blog then apparently we have something here.

My guess is you come in the hope of finding enlightenment. Nonplussed, you linger, waiting to be entertained, and leave. Underwhelmed.

I wonder what would whelm you.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Gillard and Swan vs Statler and Waldorf

Julia Gillard and Labor will win the next Federal election. There, I've said it.

You read it here first. Unless you read it somewhere else already.

Yes, yes, the current polling shows she's as popular as a pork chop at a bar mitzvah, the party she leads has all the support of a wet noodle and they'd be far more likely to win with Pol Pot or Kevin Rudd as leader.

Despite this, Federal Labor are emerging, not just as a dark horse, underdog, pigeon or sitting duck but as a genuine chance.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Ban Chinese Jews!

I've never been one to favour Federal government protectionism of markets or industries. I've tended to believe if an industry can't survive without government protection or handouts then maybe it shouldn't survive at all. That was until I heard some bloke from the local apple industry on the radio today.

Saturday, September 15, 2012

One step closer to Gay cure: Symptoms isolated

As the Homo scourge continues its prophylactic-wearing march across the globe, corrupting otherwise chaste and sensible young men and women with its evil debauchery, a band of good and decent Allah-fearing Malaysian school teachers have dared to stare down this ungodly threat to all that is good in the world.

Monday, September 3, 2012

Who wants to buy Mars?

Which product is most important to Google? What can they least do without?

Search. Duh.

They rocketed to Number 1 in search by using a smarter, revolutionary algorithm. Back in the day, they sent users to those sites with the most inbound links, making the (correct) assumption that the sites with the most inbound links were the most relevant or authoritative.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Political opportunism

As the debate here rages around the impending arrival of the Mega Death Ship, known more widely as the F.V. Margiris, it's only recently dawned on me how the issue has been able to maintain so much momentum in the local media.

In short, a local commercial fisher has the rights to take 18,000 tons of jack mackerel and redbait from the Aussie coast but they intend to take the fish using a bloody big factory ship.

Bloody big factory ships scare the natives.

Monday, July 30, 2012

This is the first post.

...and that's about all I should say, don't you think?

I mean, the chances of someone actually reading a blog's first post must be pretty low so why bother even writing it? Sure, without a first there can't be a second etc. but the opening effort does little more than test the equipment.

It's hardly the place to put one's best work.

For starters, nobody but me and the cat know of theunderwhelmingblog's underwhelming launch so the reader count is sure to be vanishingly small.

By the time my first reader subscribes by mistake, after misspelling theunderwearblog, I'll have a laundry list of posts and this one will be buried so deep it'll have begun its metamorphosis into brown coal.

Nope. I'm not going to write anything here, I'll save the pixels for something that might actually get read.